Live today as if there's no tomorrow

It poured this morning. Oh, how it poured! If I'm to use fanciful words, I'd say the trees and shrubs danced and the grass strained upwards, drinking in the bounty from heaven. 

Pauline remarked that she pities all those who has to go to school, go to work, or go out of the house for any reason. She sort of sniffed when I said I hope it'd stop by the time I has to get out.

It must be a coincidence. The rain has to stop sooner or later. Probably sooner seeing how hard it rained. By the time I get to the gate, it's only dripping droplets. The wooden walkway through the garden was dark with wet. The leaves were green and shiny although the hibiscus looked sodden and droopy.

It has to be a coincidence. I know it's a coincidence. But the thought came - and stayed - that maybe if I wish for you really really hard, it'd also come true. On the way to the train station, stepping around puddles and carefully avoiding dripping branches and spikes of opened umbrellas, the temptation to say it out loud just grew and grew. In the train, amongst the press of other commuters, slowly, very slowly, reason prevailed. It's my wish. It's my one and only wish. So it might comes true. But do I really want you to want me because I wish you'd want me as I want you?

***
I think I'm beginning to accept that I'll keep thinking of you until dementia takes over my mind. Or the day I die. Whichever comes first. 

I was a humdrum person
leading a life apart
when love flew in through my window wide
and quickened my humdrum heart 

love flew in through my window
I was so happy then
but after love had stayed a little while
love flew out again

what is this thing called love
this funny thing 
called love
just who can solve its mystery
why should it make
a fool of me?

I saw you there
one wonderful day
you took my heart
and threw it away 
thats why I ask the lord
in heaven above
what is this thing 
called love?

what is this thing called love
this funny thing 
called love
just who can solve its mystery
why should it make 
a fool of me?

I saw you there 
one wonderful day
you took my heart
and threw it away
thats why I ask the lord
in heaven above
what is this thing
called love? 

Can you plan for love?

I wish you every happiness
and thank you very much
for the time I had with you

stomacher



http://www.vintagetextile.com/new_page_230.htm


jump



http://www.vintagetextile.com/new_page_189.htm


waistcoat



http://www.vintagetextile.com/new_page_532.htm

http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/09/dont-hate-her-because-shes-educated/?th&emc=th

The premise is that educated and affluent women were under attack.

Is it really true, though?

Could it be that people somehow expect a higher standard of behaviour from them, simply because they'd been to university and are rich? So that when they behaved foolishly (or were stupid, dangerous, anti-social, or whatever), the dissappointment made the people lashed out more viciously?

Of course that assumption is wrong. Highly educated and rich people are not exempt form foolishness.

 

 

I read your recent e-mail interview with Inside Higher Ed with some interest. It seems that you may be a little concerned about what awaits you at NYU this fall. As a gay person and a law student, I wanted to take the opportunity to reassure you and to welcome you to the university. I’m not sure if you’ve been to New York before, but I gather from your CV that you got a quite a fine education in the UK. Because of a few phrases you used in the interview, it occurred to me that you may not be familiar with some peculiarities of American English and I want to point out a few that may come in handy. First, we call chips “french fries” and crisps “chips.” Second, we generally call Members of Parliament “elites” and law students, well, “law students.” We don’t really use the word “diktat” a whole lot.

New York being New York, you may also find a few Yiddish words to be useful. Foremost among these is “chutzpah.” “Chutzpah” is hard to translate directly and its meaning is perhaps best illustrated by example. New Yorkers would say that a former NMP and graduate of Cambridge and Oxford who denounces gays in a rather vulgar manner on the floor of Parliament in a successful bid to enable their imprisonment calling the highlighting of her remarks by a few law students “ugly politicking” based on “their own prejudices, from whatever sources” has a lot of chutzpah.

Now, having grown up in a farming village in Kentucky and spent a number of years in the enlisted ranks of the Army, I share your distaste for both “ugly politicking” and “elite diktat.” As I’ve been called a “faggot” and been beaten up a few times, I don’t care much for “bullying” either, although I’m not sure having one of one’s own Parliamentary speeches circulated really qualifies as such. This may be yet another peculiarity of American English.

You are quite correct, however, that in the face of bullying, one must have courage. It also helps to have supportive gay friends. One of the nice things about gay folks is that we tend not to belong to either the “liberal camp” or “communitarian camp” which you described in your speech. We’re just into camp. Likewise, the gays at NYU don’t by any means have a problem with you, your right to your views, or academic freedom. We just don’t think that state power to imprison or discriminate against sexual, racial, or other minorities is a particularly “academic” question. Again, that’s American English for you.

Another generally appreciated feature of the gays is our sense of taste, which has been highlighted in television shows like “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” You are a bit mistaken if you think that the gays at NYU want to censor you. It’s just that, like mixing polka dots with plaid or having George Wallace teach a course on civil rights in the American South, we tend to think NYU’s hiring you to teach a class called “Human Rights in Asia” demonstrates a lack of taste.

Dr. Thio, if you’ll have me, I’d like to be your supportive gay friend. We can have lunch, dish about men and listen to music together. I know a great tapas place in Greenwich Village and, as an American, I’d like to disabuse you of the notion that I have any interest in “refus[ing] to engage with dissenting views” or directing “intolerant animosity” at you. There are also a few great American songs I’d love to introduce you to. One of my favorites is called “Cry Me a River.” It was written by Arthur Hamilton.

I must make one friendly request before I let you go, however. We American gays are doing fairly well post-Lawrence v. Texas. Unlike our Singaporean brethren, we can’t be arbitrarily thrown into prison and can generally defend ourselves under the law. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for our friends, the straw men. From “human right to sodomy” to “Americans … appropriating the rhetoric of human rights … [to] impose their views on a sovereign state,” you’ve spent a good deal of time knocking them down. Last I checked, they hadn’t done anything to you, so why not go a bit easier on them.

All the best

Jim McCurley
NYU Law Class of 2010

http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2009/07/08/nyu

http://www.thebody.com/content/art17166.html?ic=700100

June 2009

http://fan.coloryoursoul.com/rococo/about.htm

http://www.thebody.com/content/art52598.html?ic=700100

In 1987, Dr. George Solomon and Dr. Lydia Temoshok researched how the mind and emotions impact the immune system. The purpose of their study was to understand how "long-term survivors" of HIV are different from people who follow the expected course of HIV disease. Through their research they were able to identify eight characteristics among long-term survivors of HIV. The eight characteristics are:

1. They are realistic and accept their diagnosis and do not take it as a death sentence.
2. They have a fighting spirit and refuse to be helpless/hopeless.
3. They have changed lifestyles.
4. They are assertive and have the ability to get out of stressful and unproductive situations.
5. They are tuned into their own psychological and physical needs -- and they take care of them.
6. They are able to talk openly about their illness.
7. They have a sense of personal responsibility for their health, and look at the treating health care provider as a collaborator.
8. They are altruistically involved with other persons with HIV.

Well, these are true for any of life's adversaries, isn't it?

 The doctor went, "Your resistance very low! Your resistance very low!" I could just imagine the "tsk tsk" which wasn't articulated. "I'd give you a really strong medicine to nip it in the bud. Cannot be too careful with H1N1 around." I'm thinking MOH really put the fear of that bug in them. The pill this time around was really powerful. Within one hour of ingestion, I began to fall asleep. The other good thing is I automatically get MC. Slept the entire morning and woke up groggy but managed to finish the red petticoat. It does look better without the blue binding. Couldn't decide which prints to use for the pockets. Ended up watching Emma. Jeremy Norton is delicious!

I'm easily distracted I realised. I have yet to finish one complete costume, yet I'm already going ahead with another, and another.

My head right now is full of ways to interpret the necklace ala Affairs of the Necklace. I'm thinking diamonds. I'm thinking pearls. I'm thinking crystals. I'm thinking blue velvet ribbons, pink silk ribbons...
 

Hilary Swank has both strands hanging off her neck. 

I'm thinking wrong wrong wrong. It should be a tight-ish choker around the neck, with the longer strands pinned to the shoulders of the bodice. 

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Archive/Infected/Q202150.html?ic=700101

Oct 8, 2008

I am negative at the moment and my boyfreind is HIV positive. he is an HIV educator actually.

After I accepted his status, we finally became intimate with each other. I did oral sex on him 3 times that night. Twice on his penis and once with his ass. He precums almost instantly (I don't know if its just with me lol), but I feel like despite the wealth of knowledge about the risk of unprotected oral sex I feel like I may have exposed myself. I didnt not swallow much if any precum. I had a little after taste and I mouthwashed mid session. I only have minor gum bleed after toothbrushing. I am a little concerned about anal oral intercourse too even thought I saw no possible way i could get infected. He penetrated me with a condom and i am not concerned about infection there.

I just want to feel a little assured about my chances for infection here. I love him so much and I find it hard to be intimate with him without thinking about his status. It's a reason why I can't put myself in a condition to penetrate him. And I feel horrible even thinking about talking to him about it because he is an HIV educator and probably know more than most about safe sex practices. Gawd, Just thinking about it and letting my mind run amok about possible infection makes me want to cry becasue I dont want to hurt nor loose him, but I want to trust him with us and our intimacy. And I want to be able to give him my all when we make love without holding myself back.

Given what I said, what were my exposure risks. And what advise do you have for me and the relationship with the one i can see myself with forever?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Your HIV-acquisition risk is extremely low. There have been no documented cases of HIV transmission due to rimming or getting rimmed. Oral sex carries only a very slight risk for HIV acquisition/transmission. You can read much more about this in the archives of this forum. We have entire chapters devoted to oral sex and sexual-HIV transmission risk.

Regarding your concerns about sexual activity within a magnetic relationship, as you might imagine, you are not alone. It's something all magnetic couples must come to terms with. Communication is key and that is what is lacking in your current relationship! That your Mr. Right is an HIV educator should make communication easier, not more difficult! Chances are he's as worried about infecting you as you are about acquiring the virus. The two of you are overdue for a heart-to-heart (note that's heart-to-heart, not hard-to-hard) talk! You need to openly discuss your concerns and together the two of you need to develop sexual rituals based on what is known scientifically about the HIV-transmission risk and on your individual levels of comfort. I suggest both you and your Mr. Wonderful read through the chapter in the archives devoted to magnetic couples. You'll soon see your concerns are shared by many of us in serodiscordant relationships. In addition to taking equal responsibility to make sure HIV is not transmitted, there are a number of other measures the two of you might want to consider to further reduce transmission risk:

1. Have your poz-partner take antiretrovirals to drive his HIV plasma viral load down to undetectable levels. This will significantly decrease transmission risk.

2. Get a starter dose of PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) to have on hand just in case there is an accidental exposure (condom break).

3. Consider PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis). This involves the negative partner taking antiretroviral medication prophylactically on a routine basis. We still don't know if this approach is effective. Clinical trials are underway. Some magnetic couples aren't waiting for the results of the trials, but rather are instituting PrEP as a harm-reduction strategy now.

You can read much more about PEP, PrEP and other risk-reduction strategies in the archives.

Finally, I want to assure you from personal experience that opposites attract and that happily-ever-after can indeed become a reality for magnetic couples. Steve (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum) is HIV negative. I'm "virally enhanced." We've been happily-ever-aftering for 15 years and yes, that includes toe-curling, wake-the-neighbor, own-name-forgetting fusion sex. My advice to you is to make sure Mr. Right doesn't get away for all the wrong reasons.

Good luck to you both!

Dr. Bob

http://www.codex-sinaiticus.net/en/project/default.aspx

I woke up this morning very clear in my head about the way to go forward. The air in the kitchen was cool, cold even. I could see dew drops glinting on the grass and leaves in the garden. My mind was calm.

As the day intruded, I wondered again what it would have been like, if I’d acted differently. I guess this forward step and retreat will repeat for a while.

The worse of it, however, is over, I think. I realized I do want to see ZY grows up, has a boyfriend or girlfriend, marries, has kids, live a conventional life. I cannot allow myself to do anything stupid. What I need to do is keep a look out for the signs, and be amongst company, or not, as the case maybe.

***

Started to redo the red petticoat last night. Removed the blue bindings. Cut away the white stitches. Sewed back the pocket slits with red thread.