Live today as if there's no tomorrow

Subject: Luke 10:29-37

Sermon by Rev Yap at Free Community Church on Sunday, May 8, 2005


What a week it has been. The death and funeral of former President Wee Kim Wee the Peoples' President, and his reaching out to the common people..His grand-daughter's eulogy which even moved Mentor Minister Lee Kuan Yew to wipe his tears in public and this for the second time. Then the article of Free Community Church in the New Paper which outed FCC to the churches and society which are so homophobic.

Two Sundays ago I was preaching at Kampong Kapor Methodist Church. In introducing me, Dr Kang Ho Soon sort of outed me to the congregation. Among other nice things, he said that in spite of strong criticisms and severe opposition by the church leaders I have identified myself with and busy serving the gay community. To say it openly takes some guts. This came as a surprise to me and I complimented him for the courage of his convictions in publicly supporting what I am doing. He has outed himself too by not agreeing with the majority of Christians who are homophobic. Those who heard us will have to deal with the issue of homosexuality and not regard it as a settled and closed issue. Some good will come out of it.

I wanted to preach the sermon on Contemplation and Compassion that I delivered there. But when I returned from Melaka last Sunday I was checking my email and read the message from Jean who decided the sermon theme for me which is 'Following Christ in Community/Society/Neighbours'. That meant I had to work out a new sermon for this morning. It resulted also in my sleep being interrupted around midnight thinking about it and working out the outline of this new sermon.

In October 2003, I preached in Safehaven and drew your attention to Henri Nouwen. You may have forgotten what I said and I could just as well use that sermon again. But I am not going to. In 1979 Henri Nouwen wrote one of the earliest of his almost forty books entitled "The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society." It is recognized as his finest work and a modern classic.

Nouwen related an old Jewish story in that book:
Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi came upon Elijah the prophet while he was standing at the entrance of Rabbi Simeron ben Yohai's cave. He asked Elijah, "When will the Messiah come?" Elijah replied, "Go and ask him yourself.
"Where is he?" "Sitting at the gates of the city," "How shall I know him?" "He is sitting among the poor covered with wounds. The others unbind all their wounds at the same time and bind them again. But he unbinds one at a time and binds it up again, saying to himself, 'Perhaps I shall be needed: if so I must always be ready so as not to delay for a moment.'"

Like the Messiah we are called to be the wounded healer, the one who must look after his own wounds but at the same time be prepared to heal the wounds of others. He is both the Wounded One and the Healing One. Those who desire to follow Christ are called to identify the wounds or the suffering in their own hearts and make the recognition the starting point of their service to their neighbours.

A recent 1999 biography of Nouwen by Michael Ford carries the title "The Wounded Prophet." It was written three years after his death. Nouwen had a long struggle from boyhood with his sexuality and stayed in the
closet in order to protect his effectiveness as a professor in the major universities of Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard and his popularity as a writer of spirituality and ministry. Ford suggests that the discord
between Nouwen's early awareness of his sexual orientation and his deep commitment to the Catholic priesthood was the primary reason for his lifelong anguish. In his earlier days, he wrestled with his homosexual leanings, which he regarded as "a disability, a cross to bear." He may have internalized his homophobia. While Nouwen was at Harvard, he was critical about the gay students and even telling them that homosexuality was "an evil state of being." In time, he became friends with many homosexuals and was under increasing pressure to go public. Other friends, however, advised him to keep his secret, saying he would lose all credibility as a famous Catholic writer if people knew he was gay.

Before he died in 1996, Nouwen was becoming more vocal in his support of gay men and women, saying they had a "unique vocation in the Christian community."

Although he apparently never broke his vows of celibacy, his desire to be a faithful priest came into conflict with his desire for personal intimacy. He became a lonely person and suffered loneliness. He suffered agony for his sexuality and experienced ecstasy in his spirituality. He endured emotional insecurity and constantly seeking attention and reassurance from those around him. He was a victim of bouts of depression and, according to Ford, anguish over his sexual orientation.

Nouwen's faith emerged out from his own pain and vulnerability. His spiritual and personal battles are the greatest source of his theology and ministry. His conflicts finally became redemptive.

When Nouwen was in Rome experiencing confusion and wrestling with issues as a priest, he sought advice from Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who was also visiting the city at the same time. After he had shared his
anxieties with her for ten minutes, Mother Teresa said simply but profoundly, "Well, when you spend one hour a day adoring your Lord, and never do anything which you know is wrong . . . you will be fine!" Nouwen later explained that Mother Teresa had "punctured my big balloon of complex self-complaints and pointed me far beyond myself to the place of real healing." He had raised a question "from below" and she had given him an answer "from above." At first the response had not seemed to fit his question, but then he had begun to see that her answer had come from "God's place and not from the place of my complaints."

In staying close to God, Nouwen felt the presence of Jesus, to whom he was utterly devoted and whose spirit he saw most strikingly at work in the poor, the destitute, the disadvantaged, and the marginalized. He turned away from the power and prestige of academic life and spent his last years living with and serving as pastor to persons with a variety of extensive mental and physical disabilities at L'Arche Daybreak community in suburban Toronto. He took care of those who cannot even take care of their personal daily lives. Flawed like us, they show us their own wounds, binds ours, and equips us to minister to the needs of others. Nouwen was in deed himself the Wounded Healer.

Let us now turn to the familiar story of the Good Samaritan. On the road from Jerusalem to Jericho a Jewish man was left half dead after being beaten and robbed. The priest and the Levite came by saw him and passed by on the other side. The priest and the Levite are members of the priestly caste and preside during Temple worship. They were not allowed even to touch a dead person for it would make them unclean and unable to perform the duties of the priest for seven days. They put importance of religious ceremonial duties of offering sacrifices in worship over that of compassionate acts of applying oil and wine and binding the wounds of the dying man. Liturgy was more important than charity.

The Scripture recorded: "A Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was and when he saw him, he had compassion, and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring oil and wine; then he set him on his own beast, and brought to an inn and took care of him." (Luke 10:33-34). Have you wondered why this not the Bad priest or the Bad Levite. The Samaritan was called Good not just because he had compassion on the wounded. In Jewish societies the Samaritans are socially inferior, the outcasts, the aliens and the Jews have nothing to do with the Samaritans. All Samaritans are therefore bad. This story lifts up one Good Samaritan against the background of all those who were regarded as bad ones. The Samaritan knew rebuff and rejection by the majority dominant Jewish community. He was wounded by the society. This Good Samaritan was in deed or in action a Wounded Healer himself.

While I was preparing my sermon last week, my wife Hee Choo was painting in her studio. When I walked in to see what she was painting I was surprised that she was trying to capture on canvass the emotions of a
wounded person sitting on a chair and bowed down with dark despair and grief. Above him are flickers of white light of hope. In a moment of artistic inspiration she painted what I was sermonizing on woundedness. I want to share with you her painting. I was reminded also of the song by Josh Groban and this is the lyric that I associated with this painting:

When I am down, and, so my soul so weary;
when troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then I am still, and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up; To more than I can be.

The other day when I was getting ready to give the blessing to the Life Long Partnership of Jorg and Jo, Hossan Leong's partner, Paul, fell into conversation with me while waiting to get the cue to enter Chimjes
Chapel. He asked me the question which a number wanted to ask but hesitant to do so. "What is it that makes you want to relate to the gay community." Some may wonder whether I am a masochist or having a martyr complex, of doing something exceptional just to draw attention. None of that. There is nothing heroic or dramatic in what I am doing. To me it is normal and what is expected from my ministry as I strive to be faithful in my calling. I have a simple and honest answer. I was privileged to be able to develop a theology of who God is and God's relation to Creation, who Christ is and what following Christ means today and it is just a natural movement for me to identify with the rejected and oppressed gay community in this moment of history. It is from my perspective an area of need that I am to assist. Psychologically and physically I have also been wounded and feel and know what it means to be sidelined from active physical activity that most of you will take for granted. I have been wounded for sixty years. I am just trying very hard to be a Wounded Healer.

The other day I passed by the notice board in my condominium where there are notices of people trying to buy or sell their things. My eye caught the posting of puppies for sale.He was selling pedigree puppies with papers and the name of the breed is Jack Russell. It was no ordinary Ah Kow! I was reminded of this familiar story in my files and how the same story coincidentally was sent to me by a friend last week.

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the four pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug at his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck,
"These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer, and with that he let out a whistle. Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.
Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling and limping toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the crippled dog..
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would. With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands." With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up gently the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the little boy.
"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love and understanding."
The world is full of people who need someone who understands, someone who loves them. The little boy is a Wounded Healer

Jerry in launching I Care Mission a few Sundays ago hinted that I should preach a sermon on Caring. Yes, Jerry this is it.

Spaces volunteers had a heart-wrenching experience when we were there on Block 31 in Toa Payoh early this year. We met with the poorest of the poor in Singapore. It was en eye-opener for many of us. Since then you had a hard time deleting the images of the people and their sub-human living conditions. They won't go away and they keep on haunting you and you want to do something on a regular basis. They are Singapore
society's rejects deemed of no productive value. Abandoned by family and friends they eke out their lonely existence in a less than human condition.

Today is Mother's Day and there are a handful of mothers present. But we all have mothers and their loving hands have nourished, nurtured, and handled us through life. They have bled to birth us. They have sacrificed to bring us up. We as a community here want to remember them too. In our last session on Coming Out we hear how wounded the mothers were when their children first came out to them. My heart aches for Eileena's mother for eight years of tears and pain. I feel sorry for Dominic's mother who has to try to get the father to accept him. I am so pleased by John's mother Sally and Angela's mother Ivy who so understandably and readily accepted their children's sexuality. Mothers are nursing their wounds when they in anxiety and in anguish about your condition even though you remain in your closets and wondering when and how you can come out to them. Wounded as you yourselves are, do reach out to them this day and every day in love and care. This is how we ought to honour our wounded mothers.

You as members of the gay community know what ostracism, stigmatization, slander, isolation, seclusion mean in your own personal lives. You are much maligned and misunderstood and mistreated. You have been
sexually abused and emotionally assaulted. You are wounded people. Are you going to remain unbinding and binding up all your own wounds. Are you going to be the Wounded Healer binding the wounds of others as well. This is what Following Christ in Community, society and neighbours is all about. You can in deed become the Wounded Healers.

Let us reflect on the Isaiah 53 passage about the hope of the Messiah who is to come:
He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed.

Let us hear again the classic hymn of the Crucified Christ, the Suffering Servant: O Sacred Head, Now Wounded.